O is for Once Upon a Time
by Blinded-Kit
Summary: Darcy had Captain Hook chained to her radiator. This takes place after they find Neal and lock Hook in the storage closet. AU for this to work.


O is for Once Upon a Time.

One-Shot

Own Nothing

* * *

"So are you really a pirate?" She asked as she took a bite of pizza.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes. For the last time, I am a real pirate I have a ship."

"Let me guess, it's the Jolly Roger." Darcy stated.

Hook's eyes lit up. "Yes, how did you know?"

"The hook kind of gave it away. Love Peter Pan books growing up."

He frown and looked away. "He is…"

"Wait a minute, are you trying to find a way to either break my heart and tell me that a childhood hero is really an asshole or that's he's a sweet, swell guy?"

"The former." Hook replied.

"I kind of knew that Captain Obvious, I mean, he killed the lost boys when to old. He probably ripped out their hearts to keep their youth." Hook stared at her in amazement and Darcy frowned. "Oh shit you're serious dude?"

"Yes, now can you unchain me please, or do you prefer to torture me with the smell of your…food." He glanced down at the box of pizza sitting between them on the floor. He sat with his back to her radiator that was turned off for cool weather, his wrist with the hook chained to one of the bars.

"Oh yea, sorry. I normally use these for my sexy times, I'm surprised I actually put them to real use." She took the key and unchained his wrist.

"Your sexy times?" He let his eyes roam her body before returning to her face. She arched an eyebrow at him in return.

"So who put you in my storage closet?" Darcy asked as she handed him a plate with a slice of pizza on it.

"I was getting my revenge when they knocked me out." He stopped when Darcy held up her hand.

"Never mind, I don't want to hear it Captain Jack."

"My name is Killian jones." He replied as he followed her movements and ate the pizza.

"I bet you get Captain Hook a lot though don't you?" She asked him as she popped the cap off the beer bottle and handed it to him.

He set the pizza down to take a swig of beer. "It's what I'm called instead."

"Seriously?" Darcy arched an eyebrow. "I mean, don't get me wrong Captain Hook sounds menacing and like you don't take shit from anyone. But Killian Jones." Darcy's eye lit up at she mulled over the name. Hook watched her as he took another swig of his beer, it had been a long time since he met someone who actually wanted to call him by his real name. "Killian Jones, that just sounds like a bad ass mother fucker. Like you had a way with the ladies and left them wanting more."

He smirked and nodded. "I did have a way once."

"What happened?" She asked as she took another bite of pizza.

"A crocodile took my hand." He lifted up his hooked hand. "I took his love, and he took my hand and then killed her."

"Fuck." She whistled. "Disney has nothing on your woes of sorrow."

"What's this Disney?" He asked her.

Her eyes lit up. "It is the epicenes of all story telling but compare to the real thing, they have it completely wrong. It's a way to show the classics and make them more family friendly." She shrugged. "Do you want to see?"

"I would like too." He nodded as Darcy stood up. She helped him up and smiled.

"Awesome. Okay take the pizza over to the table over there and I'll bring the beer." She carried the bottle and dropped them off at the table. "Be right back." She ran into the kitchen and started popcorn in the microwave and came back into the living room. "You can sit down." She pointed to the beat up futon and he followed her instructions. He watched as she readied the contraptions. She looked over her shoulder and smiled. "If you really are who you say you are, this might scare you at first. But trust me, you'll be fine."

"You could be trying to kill me." He stated.

She snorted as she turned back to the TV and DVD player. "Why would I waste good pizza and beer on you if I was going to off you now?" She went and grabbed the popcorn when it went off. She brought the bowl into the living room with more beer and set them on the table as she started up the movie. "Here we go." She plopped down next to him and nudged his shoulder. "Don't use this against me when you totally and completely hate it."

He stared at her warily. "No promises."

She nodded her head. "Fair enough." She pushed play and sat back and enjoyed the movie.

* * *

Close to two hours later, Hook had kept his opinions to himself, he waited until the credits rolled and Darcy turned to the movie off. She turned to look at him and held her breath. "You actually let young children watch this?" He asked her.

"Biggest piece of shit?" She asked him.

"It's all lies!" He growled.

"Oh Capi-tan, they're all lies." She smiled. "Want to watch another one?"

He stared at her in silence for a few minutes, weighing his options. "What else do you got?"

Darcy laughed and jumped off the futon and pulled out her whole Disney collection and she let him pick through them.


End file.
